the horror, the horror...
A small island in Scotland has banned caravans from coming across on the ferry because they block the narrow roads and spoil the natural beauty of the place. Now, I feel very lucky to live somewhere where people want to come and spend their holidays and it's great in the summer, or even the winter, to meet people from around the north and from around the world BUT we have narrow roads and beautiful countryside here too and there is nothing more frustrating than being stuck behind some dopey twat towing a caravan and there is nothing so ugly as a field full of large white shiny sun reflecting plastic boxes that can be seen from miles around by all that have come to get away from that sort of suburban crap for a bit. Living in the countryside, getting stuck behind slow vehicles on narrow roads is a fact of live but farmers will often pull into a gate or side road to allow traffic to pass, horse riders will wave you past with a smile as you slow down behind them to avoid an overtake that may startle the animals, even the occasional tourist will cotton on to the rural convention of allowing people in more of a hurry than you to pass. Tractors and horses are a natural part of the landscape, unlike caravans. But I have NEVER EVER, NOT ONCE, NOT EVER seen a driver towing a caravan or driving a motorhome pull over to allow anyone to pass, NOT EVER. Caravan owners arrive in an area, contribute nothing to the local economy because they bring their own supplies, they spoil the countryside, occupy car parks and laybys, they block up roads, frequently attempting to drive up roads signposted as too steep or narrow for them, not infreqently they really go for the kill on the congestion front by turning the bloody thing over and closing the road completely. They are people who cannot bear the thought of going away without their own familiar surroundings, their own four walls around them so you would not expect them to have any respect for their host community . The propoganda from their trade union, the caravan club is that that by getting in a 4x4 that only does 20 miles to the gallon BEFORE you attach a huge caravan to the back, lugging it across the country causing traffic congestion in this island already congested enough with essential traffic, then arriving at the destination shunning local B&Bs and shops they are somehow helping the enviroment and the economy, but surely a plague of locusts does more for the environment and the economy than caravanners.
Maybe there are caravanners who are not this bad but as a group they almost seem to revel in their tight fisted sanctimonius image and in their collective pronouncements and individual conduct on the roads they seem unwilling to do anything to change it. Caravanners, sort yourselves out! Residents of Colonsay, we salute you!
Maybe there are caravanners who are not this bad but as a group they almost seem to revel in their tight fisted sanctimonius image and in their collective pronouncements and individual conduct on the roads they seem unwilling to do anything to change it. Caravanners, sort yourselves out! Residents of Colonsay, we salute you!
13 comments:
Haha !
My parents have an old mobile tin box and I had many a weekend spent playing travel solitaire looking out at the rain somewhere in the Lake District whilst growing up. My dad does pull over and he's done some kind of caravan towers certificate and he regularly repeats a lot of the stuff you wrote in your post about the less conscientious caravanners.
However, I think a caravan hatred is largely snobbery about those dreadful upper-working/lower-middle class people out and about in the countryside. Good grief ! Who'd have thought it ;-) Surely they should be watching Pop Idol and having Findus Crispy Pancakes in their Barrat homes like normal people ?
A caravan for a lot of people represents freedom. The freedom to get out of town and into the countryside, there are millions of caravanners and you do find people with satellite dishes on their van who take all their own food with them. Of course you do. Not myparents though, they enjoy seeking out local producers, go to farm shops etc. They're far from alone.
Weekends at campsites gave me a love of nature, walking, watching birds, playing out in the fresh air with kids from all over the country. Far better than sitting in playing on a computer I'd have thought.
Different folks like different stuff. My parents would never stick an England flag on their car but I doubt they'd get het up about people that do.
and by the way, calling my dad a "dopey twat" isn't very pleasant.
He worked a sixty hour week as a trucker to give us weekends in the country for over thirty years.
You're a ridiculous, angry little middle-class snob of the worst sort Arthur/Cliff.
For a man of your years you occassionally come across a quite pathetic.
I don't think it's snobbery because these things cost a fortune and are often towed by very expensive cars, so the whole 'carvans are for poor people who couldn't afford to get away from the inner city' doesn't wash -they are middle class well off people. Poor people just get a tent and a rucksack, not a 4x4 and a £20 grand caravan
Frankly, whatever anyone wants to do on their holiday is up to them but they should, as your dad has done, take some extra training because at best they are very incovenient to other people who might not actually be on holiday as well and at worst downright dangerous because they encourage desperate measures in exasperated people trying to overtake them (because although your dad may be courteous and, all resoect to him for it, I have never ever been allowed to pass by a caravan), They weave and sway, they overturn, they jackknife, they get stuck on hills, they get stuck trying to turn around on single track lanes and they often seem to be driven by older people who learnt to drive in a different age when the roads were empty, most cars could only do 45 flat out anyway, drink driving was acceptable and taking account of other drivers on crowded highways was not something they ever learnt.
Just a little bit of courtesy and give and take and a little bit less caravan fundamentalism of the 'caravans are fine, it's all the other people that are wrong' variety, and perhaps they would be seen in a better light. Your dad should start a new caravan club for caravanners with a social conscience, or just any kind of conscience
so are you saying you don't agree with me in this one then? :-)
Arthur/Cliff
I'm sure plenty of people do have 4X4s and tow twenty pound caravans but my dad worked a sixty hour week as a trucker to afford his beaten up estate car and tin bucket of a caravan.
You called all caravanners "dopey twats". What gives you the right ?
How old are your Arthur ? I hope I'm not so imbecilic as you when I grow up ;-)
Is it really clever for such a busy, busy, busy little bunny as yourself to be attempting to wind people up like a spoilt little baby :-0
Poor diddums ?
Clearly not that busy then ;-)
Stop whingeing fella, it doesn't become you.
That should of course be twenty thousand pound caravans around. I'll correct myself before your tiresomely correct me.
You obviously don't have a problem with calling people names per se so I'm not sure what your objection is. My rather flippant comment, qualified by saying that not all individuals are the same as the group, seems innocuous next to what you've posted here, doesn't it?
Arthur,
I have sent you an apology for the tenor of my comments. I reacted to you calling my father a "dopey twat". I do hope you'd do the same.
I've apologised to you, which is more than you've done.
You can't just throw insults around Arthur without expecting people to react. You can't really claim the moral high ground now.
It's clear from your posts that you seem to hate lots of objectified groups of people who you feel you can throw the basest of abuse at, just because it suits you. If someone then delivers some home truths in your direction, even if they were ill-judged on my part, you cannot then really complain. In less colourful terms, that is how you appear.
You seem to be something of a bully Arthur. On your previous blog you deliberately attempted to wind-up Bondwoman and Bondbloke with some of your posts and you're at it again.
What do you really hope to gain from this ? Well done, you've got me to react.
I've apologised but I can't help thinking that a man of your years should be acting with a bit more dignity.
You'll be pleased to know I've axed the blog because I would hate to end up like you Arthur/Cliff. Chucking out hate, attempting to wind people up, continually whingeing about the hardness of their rather comfortable life.
So that's me Arthur. I do apologise if it offends you. You seem to have no problem with attempting to offend other.
I have not called your father anything martyn. I have not criticised anyone personally at all.
I have not attempted to wind anyone up. I can only write about my personal experience and viewpoint and inevitably that will not be the same as your's or anyone elses.
You don't know me or anything about me other than what you read on here so please do not make assumptions where you don't have the information
Finally, you write some very interesting articles on your blog so I hope you continue. it's a shame that you have been so upset by this article but that's my experience. it's just a blog and it's not important
You stated on your previous blog that you had written posts deliberately to wind up certain people and it's fairly clear that one of those was Bondwoman. You have something angry prejudice concerning anyone who works in the public sector and BW was the convenient scapegoat at the time.
I've talked enough about my parents daft caravanning hobby for you to know that if you come in with a load of hatred, all be it based on your experience that I'd be likely to take offence. You quite rightly suggest that the line that "all caravanners are angels" is ridiculous, then you're assertion that they're all insensitive 4X4 driving idiots is equally ridiculous.
You're smart enough to carefully qualify your words when you have these digs but it's fairly apparent what you're up to. My dad knows and loves the countryside. He's a product of it and he worked on the land before being forced to find better paid employment elsewhere to support his family, but to you he's just "dopey twat", a caravanning towing idiot.
I do only know you from your blog and I can only judge you by what you write. So know, I don't know you at all. But then you don't know "dopey twats" like my dad do you ?
He doesn't keep a blog slagging off all and sundry just because it's what irritates them today.
It's not important, but what you have to realise is that you don't live in a consequence free universe. When you attempt to irritate people you're sometimes succesful, and sometimes they bite back.
What do you really gain from your snide, bullying and ignorant ranting ? You're clearly not stupid so why do it ? No problem with people who disagree with me I just really dislike sneering snideness from people who should know better.
That's the matter closed as far as I'm concerned. I doubt you'll take much notice.
you say that I'm a bully but who has called who today:
ridiculous angry little middle class snob
quite pathetic
imbecilic
spoilt little baby
busy little bunny
poor diddums
chucking out hate
whinging
basest of abuse
bully
whinging about the hardness of their comfortable life
snide, bullying and ignorant ranting
I used one phrase which wasn't used about any individual but you used all these and directed against one individual. Please explain your superiority here because it's not really obvious
I wrote that article about the lecturers strike because the effect on the students struck a chord with me so strongly I wanted to speak about it even at the risk of offending someone, because I have been affected by such an action myself
I wrote this about caravans because I find them generally to be driven by quite inconsiderate people and comments such as the above are not really helping that particular impression are they? I didn't know you were a caravan fan, I don't keep biographical notes on everyone with a blog because I don't take it as seriously as you and frankly just about anything anyone can say will be disagreed with by someone somewhere so that would be the end of any discussion of any subjects at all wouldn't it?
many people do write blogs to inflame and generate exchanges such as this. I don't and would rather not have such a comment thread as this, which would probably have been deleted by many people. A bit of spirited debate is fun perhaps but you shouldn't take it so much to heart.
so, yes, as you say, lets just put this bit of disharmony behind us and move on because we both undoubtedly have something more important to do than spending our time on this
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